I can,t say many time...

Many were the times I should have said "I love you"
but those words were not easy for me to say.
For everyone I ever loved and told I loved
pulled back from me and ran away.
That made saying "I love you" all the more difficult to say.
Many were the times when harsh words prevailed
where words of kindness did not endure.
For every time I said words against you
I knew that my heart was not pure.
And that made saying "I love you" that much harder for sure.
Many were the times I said "I love you"
after you were resting in the cold ground.
But many were the times I felt those words
when those simple words could not be found.
That made saying "I love you" a rope around me bound.
Many were the tears I cried for the loss of you
when you were not here to hear them said.
Such simple words those, "I love you"
that come so often now that you are dead.
And it's living without you that I now most dread.
Many are the heartaches I feel for you
when nobody knows the pain within.
I should have told you how much I love you
just to see the way it would make you grin.
But words unspoken nevertheless always resided within.
Words left unspoken, words like "I love you"
would have meant the world to your heart.
It's easy now to say how very much I love you
when we are nether worlds apart.
I always felt those words within me, but didn't know where to start.